Our family is generally our first experience of relationships, this can form what our beliefs of relationships are, and so what we take out to the world. We learn from our family, the way to speak and be with another, we learn what standards are acceptable, and what is not.
If we have experienced or witnessed extensive criticism, judgement or abuse as we have grown up, we can grow up thinking this is how we relate with another. This can also have the effect of making us behave in certain ways to try and get approval, recognition or love from the outside. To get this love we may become ultra nice, a people pleaser or an over achiever, a perfectionist or a rebel, either way we are moving away from who we truly are and shaping ourselves into what we think is a ’fine human being’, which is a false version of ourselves. Could all this simply be a big game to make you achieve something - that is the reward - that you then do not want to let go of. What if this is all a set up so you become something on the outside, but have had your power eroded in the process? What if all this is to stop you being who you truly are?
What if family does not have to be like that, what if there is a way that celebrates you as a person, that treats you with the same respect, honouring and love that they treat everyone with. What if a true family is simply to support children to be all that they are, to remain open and continue evolving into their amazing selves? What if our responsibility, is simply to reflect a quality, a way of living that is loving, not having expectations on the other bringing love first, then I will be loving back. No demands or expectations of what we want from another, just simply getting ourselves out of the way and just being the love we innately are. We do not know everything that has happened to this person in their life to allow them to treat another in a less than loving way. We are not here to judge, simply to be love. This does not mean that we accept behaviour that is less than loving. We have a responsibility to be love at all times and with everyone equally. Could family simply be to offer another evolution?
