I used to live my life like I was in a shell, which I thought protected me from people and the world, and from being hurt, but it did not work as I would still end up feeling hurt by this person or by that situation or incident.
In 2005 I started attending Universal Medicine courses and having some Esoteric Healing sessions with Practitioners trained by Serge Benhayon.
When I look back at my early Esoteric Healing sessions, I have to smile now as I recall (on more than one occasion) an Esoteric Practitioner lovingly pointing out to me that I was being defensive, back then, I sometimes struggled to see the truth of this (because I was being defensive!).
Looking back at my life 15+ years ago I can now see that I was holding my tension and turmoil internally. I was like a coiled spring ready to explode at the slightest thing.
On the outside I presented as a caring, loving, people pleasing person, but inside I was becoming increasingly more stressed and distraught and did not know who I truly was or what life was really about.
Today, I am increasingly able to stay with my body and feel my body and what reactions are coming up for me, instead of escaping into my head or numbing myself with food or some other distraction.
I can see now how I have evolved into being a much more truly loving person with myself and everyone else, by how I live harmoniously and feel harmonious in my body much of the time.
In a nutshell I feel very different to how I used to. I can feel how I have surrendered to a stillness that is within me, allowing me to observe and read what is really going on in life, bringing a deeper understanding to myself; this has been a game changer.
I feel like I am a student of life still learning, and from listening to my body and not over-riding it like I used to, I now feel more connected to what is true for me. I feel so much more appreciative of my body and how lovely this feels, the harmony, and space and the joy that are now becoming an increasing part of my life.
Choosing to live this way means there is not the same level of stress in my life as before, and so this is allowing my body to heal gradually. Stress, as we are all aware, leads to poor health conditions, like inflammation, depression, and sooner or later many forms of illness and disease.
My life has not changed overnight, it has been a gradual process of letting go of old ways of living, old hurts, and behaviours, and introducing a more caring and nurturing way of being with myself. I can recommend letting go of the protection, as it not only keeps people out, it also stops me from bringing my love out – and feeling the love of others.
guarding/protective behaviours, and instead
allow ourselves to feel raw and exposed,
we can also allow ourselves to feel the hurt
that is out there – not to be hurt,
but to feel the hurt. This is the way to heal
what is falsely holding us back,
for if we do not heal what hurts,
our guard becomes who we are.'
Esoteric Teachings & Revelations. Book 7 by Serge Benhayon - page 180