What I have noticed is that the quality of their relationships, whether they are in a ‘good’ relationship or a difficult relationship or just having problems with relationships in general affects their everyday life – having a big impact on their well-being, emotional state and health.
No matter what the situation I always find it important to look at the relationship the person has with their self. Do they take care of and look after them self, do they have a sense of their value and worth, and so cherish themselves – or as I have found is more common is that there is a lack of self value and self love, with a tendency to put all others before themselves and even to run themselves down, criticising themselves and even abusing themselves.
Abuse can be very subtle and many people may say I don't abuse myself, but simple things like not making time to rest when exhausted, not drinking water if thirsty, not expressing or communicating what we are feeling with another, pushing oneself way beyond one's limits-whether with exercise or something else, and even drinking alcohol which is poison to the body are forms of abuse.
If we treat ourselves in this cruel manner we are actually saying to the world this is okay for you to do the same. By gradually bringing in changes to start taking care of oneself, to appreciate oneself, and to make time for oneself are important steps in building a more loving relationship with self.
Once we have built a foundation of care, love and appreciation for our self then we have a marker that we will not go below and we won't accept less from others. The way we live, the way and what we eat, the way we exercise or start to exercise, and our behaviours gradually change to support us being more love if that is our choice.
As we start to feel better about ourselves our ability to express will often improve, honest communication is another important element of all relationships, being able to express truthfully what you are feeling, with no need or expectation of an outcome.
Relationships matter to all of us, we are all sensitive individuals and deep down all want to be loved for who we truly are - so how about starting to give that love, that cherishing to our self first, knowing and appreciating that we deserve that. This then becomes the love and cherishing we accept and will not go below in our lives. We are then able to share this love with all others.